Not Your Average Book Wise Punk
by Lily Jay
Summary: Okay so I am not Jess, but for the sake of things, lets just pretend that I am. This is an autobiography of Jess Mariano but under the penname Jesse M. Logan. PLEEZ R&R! edited a little! New chapter up! changed my penname!
1. Introduction

**DISCLAIMER! I don't own Gilmore Girls!**

**Summary! Okay so I am not Jess, but for the sake of things, lets just pretend that I am. This is an autobiography of Jess Mariano but under the penname Jesse M. Logan.**

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I was looking through the bookstore, which I hadn't been in for a long time…my eyes came to a new book on the shelf. I skimmed over the title…it was an autobiography…I haven't read one in forever. I smiled and took it up to the front desk I paid for it and left the store yelling, "thanks Andrew!" I heard him call back "No problemo kid!" I went home and plopped down onto my bed…it had been a long school year…thank god it's summer. I pulled the book back out of the bag and fell back onto my bed looking at the cover.

_**Not Your Average Book-Wise Punk An autobiography by Jesse M. Logan**_

I smiled, opened the book and began to read

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**_INTRODUCTION_**

As most of you know, Jesse M. Logan is just a penname. I am mostly known to the outside world as Jess…you know amongst family & friends. My life is not the greatest one in the world. Those of you who knew me when I was seventeen would probably wonder how I got to where I am now…a successful writer, with my doctorate degree in literature (well almost my doctorate degree…just a few more years to go).

I don't think anybody really believed in me, not my mom, not my uncle…though he says he did, nobody, I don't even think that I believed in me…that is until she came along. The one person who truly believed in me…she thought I was special…thought I had potential…saw through the bad boy act I put on…saw the real me, the sensitive side of me I pretended not to have…she got me to believe in myself…and opened up a part of my heart I didn't even know existed. Lets just call her Leigh.

I'll come back to her a little later. This is my story…not necessarily the happiest one, so if you were looking for a happy life story you better find a different book…but it's the only story I have. Now it's time to stop holding it in and tell it at last.

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I gasped. It can't be him…I buried my nose back in the book and turned the page, continuing on with the story. 

**A/N! So that's chapter one! I just thought that jess needed a life story…what happened to him before he came to Star's Hollow? So I wrote this…press the nice little button and tell me what you think so far. Ch 2 might not be up for a while so be patient! I'm just having a terrible time with one of my many curses…WRITER'S BLOCK! I will update F.E.L. soon I promise! ;D**

**AnneTrinityRGJM**


	2. Ch 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!EXCEPT FOR THE PLOT THAT IS!**

**A/N: hya all! Sorry it's been so long! But I've been hit with the inspiration stick so I'm updating. To the reviewers:**

**DragonFaynge: Thanks for reading! I'm glad you think so!**

**Smile1: I'll try to keep it original! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Spuffyrocks: it's going into all of it before during and after! Thanks for R&R-ing!**

**Utopist: thanks for reviewing! Please update 72 Miles Apart soon!**

**everybody else! Thanks for reading!**

**Okay here's chapter two!**

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I gasped. It can't be him…I buried my nose back in the book and turned the page, continuing on with the story. _**

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Part One  
_**CH 1**_  
"_**It's like I'm Cursed."**_

I was born in New York City on September 14th, 1986. I grew up in the east village in a small house with my mom and my twin sister Anna. It wasn't the greatest life a guy could ask for but it was all I had. Anna and I were inseparable we were best friends. But I lost her and I've always been blaming it on myself. My uncle Luke tells me it wasn't my fault but in my opinion it was. I'll recount what happened so you can decide for yourself.

_**"Hey Ann!" I said as I walked into the room I shared with my sister.**_

_**"You rhymed! Hey Jessy!" she said with a smile. I smiled back at her and then scowled. I hate it when people call me that.**_

_**"Don't call me Jessy, its just Jess!" I said stubbornly.**_

_**"Fine…hey JESS!" she said as she rolled her eyes at me. I smirked.**_

_**"Anna, do think our tenth birthday counts for today too?"I asked curiously.**_

_**"Nope!" she said brightly,"Mom says that we only have ONE birthday a year!" I frowned.'Darn' I thought.**_

_**"Hey lets play racecar!" I said with a grin on my face.**_

_**"YEAH!" she yelled as we ran out the door into the hallway. I took my mom's car keys off the bookshelf andput on my dads old black leather jacket and sunglasses. She put on our mom's shawl and necklace and we went outside.**_

_**"Hop in!" I said cooly in a fake deep voice.**_

_**"KAY!" she said in a fake high pitched girly voice. We got in the car and I put the keys in the ignition.**_

_**"We like totally need tunes. You can't go on a roadtrip without 'em." I said. I turned the keys and turned the radio on Anna began to fiddle with the clutch, or as we called it then, the PRINDL.**_

_**"What do you think the D stands for?" she asked me, I looked at the other things on the clutch and noticed the R. 'It must stand for rock' I thought.**_

_**"Hmmm…dance!" I said decisively.She smiled and turned it to the D.**_

_**"I like dancing!" she said, smiling. Suddenly we began to move. I was terrified and I didn't realize that my foot was pressing the gas. We rolled down the driveway, across the street and into a tree. I looked out the window. People were starting to gather around. Anna started to freak out. She looked like she was having a fit or something, she wouldn't stop. She hit her head on the dash and suddenly was deathly still. I did what any ten year old would do…I ran to get my mom. I opened the door and ran inside screaming. "MOM! SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH ANNA!"She hurried behind me as I ran back to the car where my sister was lying. She seemed to recognize this and she called 911. An ambulance showed up and took her away.**_

_**"Mom, what's wrong with Anna?" I asked her, my voice cracking and tears in my eyes. She sighed and looked downat me.**_

_**"Hunny, your sister has heart problems and the collision started them up again. She went unconscious." she explained to me calmly. She called a cab and we went down to the hospital to wait to see if she was okay. The doctor came out and said that they weren't able to save her. In other words my twin sister and best friend was dead. Mom started doing drugs more often than usual you know drinking and smoking. She smacked me a few times after we got home that day saying that I shouldn't have been playing with the car. I haven't cried like I did that day since because every time I did mom would hit me and say that I should just suck it up and be a man, it was all my fault she was dead.**_

So that's what happened. My life hasn't been the same since I swear its like I'm cursed first it was Anna in a car accident then my three best friends, Cory, Justin, and Jordyn.

_**"I want ice cream!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. The twin's older brother Cory came out into the living room.**_

_**"Me too! Hey Jordyn, you and Justin wanna come get ice cream with us?"he asked them.She smiled and nodded, as did her twin brother Justin.He turned of the nintendo and walked over to us Jordyn took the keys off the mantle and shooed us outside.**_

_**"How come you get to drive?" Jordyn whined.**_

_**"Because I'm seventeen, and have my license, and you're fourteen and, well, don't." he smirked at her and we all got in the car. We drove to the good ice cream place on the other side of town.**_

_**"I WANT **__**ROCKY ROAD!" I yelled.**__**I opened the car door and we went inside. Cory went to the counter and orderd us our ice crem cones. We sat in the parlor eating them and talking. I didn't know that it would be the last time I would talk to the three siblings. On the way back a drunken cab driver hit us headlong. Jordyn and I flew from the car and the car began to smoke until it caught fire and blew up.**_

_**I landed on a trampoline in somebody's front yard and bounced off it onto the grass. Jordyn flew farther and landed on the cement. They rushed us to the hospital and I got out with a minor concussion. Jordyn died a few hours after I was released. I didn't cry, I couldn't cry, I wouldn't cry. I was depressed, everyone was gone, I was alone, and not one person was left who actually gave a shit about me.**_

Car accidents are very traumatic for me now I can't see one or be in one and not be scared shitless. It's why I was so screwed up before. And being screwed up is why I didn't graduate from high school the first time around. See I told you it wasn't a happy story. To those of you who haven't closed the book by now to read something less disturbing: I'm amazed. If this is the beginning of the story you can bet that my life was no fairy tale…I still don't know if I'll get a happily ever after…personally I don't know if I want one. But I think I'll live this life out.

Wow…I'm pouring my heart out to complete strangers…never thought I'd see the day (if that even makes sense). Well this was only the beginning of my problems each one more worse than the next. I kind of wish my life was more normal like everybody else. You know happy with parents who actually cared about me. Instead I got a whack-job mom and a screw up dad who split after I was born. Huh maybe I do take after him a little bit…we have something in common, we're both screw ups wishing they could change the past. I think if I had grown up in a less dangerous city with more caring parents than I wouldn't be so screwed up. I did a lot of growing up when I was supposed to have a childhood and be a kid.

When I was three I was more of an adult than my mother was. I spent all my time taking care of Anna and my mom so about the time I turned four my mind was turning about thirty. I had to be responsible. When you're four and raising yourself in NYC there is no room for fear. When everybody else was watching movies with their families I was looking for neighbors who wanted help with things to get money just incase mom forgot to go to work and got fired (again). When other kids were playing outside I was doing the shopping because who could count on Lizzie to remember to get food.

See what I'm talking about she barely remembered to take care of herself let alone us. After Anna died I stopped really caring. I kept to myself more then usual. Life sucked until a little after my twelfth birthday when I met the last true friends I'd have for a long time. Well, anyways, after Jordyn, Cory, and Justin died, I had no real friends. I brooded most of the time. Can you blame me? I mean I lost my best friends. Jordyn was the first girl I had ever liked as more then just a friend. She died before I got the chance to tell her.

It all went downhill from there. I started to smoke and drink just to forget the pain. Just a little at first then gradually more and more. Nothing ever was the same again.

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It _is_ him…I thought back to before he left…I sighed…is it too late? Is it too late to tell him how much I love him, how I wish I had gone after him? Maybe, but only time can tell me the answers to the questions I ask myself so frequently. I looked at the picture on my bedside table…he was smiling that day…I looked at the picture on the back of the book, that's not the Jess I remember he was smiling…to everybody else it was a real smile…but me, I could tell it was forced that wasn't a true Jess smile I groaned "Why did you go? What happened to the Jess I used to know? Will I ever see you again?" I heard a voice call in from the other room "Hon did you say something?" "No…nothing." She smiled at me "you sure? I thought I heard mention of the J-word." "I'm fine I promise" I lied. I would never be fine…not until I see him again, until I hear his voice. I sighed again and leaned back against the pillows, opened the book again, and threw myself into his world and life again. **

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A/N: so tell me did it suck? Did it rock? Should I continue? Who do you think the person is? Pleez Review by pressing the nice little bluish button. REVIEWS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND…THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS. The more feedback I get the faster I update…or well try to…FEL is on hold for I have to rewrite chap. 3 and the rest of the story cuz it is moving along too fast. Luv ya all! **

**Luv!**

**Trinity!**

**PS! I'm writing a new story cuz with how they ended season 5 they SO could bring Jess back into the story line!**

**T.**


	3. Ch 2

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN DIDDLY-SQUAT!**

**A/N: hya all! finally got ch 3 (ch 2 in the autobiography) so here you go! to the reviewers:**

**KC-Chick: Glad you like it! i'll update this as fast as possible kay? keep reviewing they make my day!  
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Smile1: glad you liked it! I try to get it better each time but it doesnt always work ill try to space out the conversations more. thanks for reviewing!**

**anyways! heres ch 3!**

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CH 2  
Escape Into A Better Reality

Liz stopped going to work all that much, she sold our house and moved us into an apartment that we could betterafford to live in. She was barely ever home at all. she was either at one of her vaious temp jobs that I quit askng about or at one of her various boyfriend's houses'. When she was home she was almost always drunk and was always yelling at me. Sometimes I wouldnt even come home at night preferring to spend as much time as possible from the whack-job woman who lived in my apartment that called herself my mother. In my many walks around town I discovered the best places to eat, the best places to hang, and the places with the best music.

My favorite place to hang wasn't a skate park, not a night club, not an arcade, it wasn't someplace alot of kids from school went so that was a plus. It was the Greenwich Village Public Library. It was a place where the librarians knew me better than anyone else. It was a place where they set up a room where I could stay when I didnt want to go home or had to study for a long period of time...like my own little apartment in the library. A place where somebody actually cared about me...cared whether or not I lived or died. It was paradise for me...a sanctuary if you will. It was a place where I could escape into a better reality...I just opened a book and sort of became the main character I analyzed the books to death and the librarians didn't care when I wrote notes in the margins of the books I read.

Sometimes I got picked up by the cops because I was out past cerfew. I got well aquainted with them and we were on a first name basis. Liz always had to come pick me up and then cussed me out all the way home. I remember the last night I spent in New York, before my life got flip turned upside-down and changed forever. Let's go back to that crucial moment shall we?

**I walked out of the library that night not knowing or caring what time it was. I waved goodbye and flashed a smile at Mrs. Jackson, the nice old librarian. I began to walk down the road in the general direction of the pace I occasionally inhabited. I never have called it home, because it was never home. I saw the flashing lights and stopped to look at the police car that had disturbed my thoughts of the book I had been reading moments before. I got a good look of the officer's face as he walked over to where I stood under the streetlight. I pulled a ciggarette from the pack in my pocket and lit up taking a long drag. I exhaled and addressed the officer.**

**"How's it goin' Steve?" he grabbed my arm in the usual routine and led me to the car. I went without a fight. Why bother it doesn't do any good.**

**"You're getting a little too used to this, Jess." he said as I got in the car and buckled up. He shook his head, hopped in, and drove me to the police station on the other end of town. I got out and walked over to the phone where I called my mom and let the guard, Ron, lead me to my temporary cell. I sat on the cot and pulled the book out of my back pocket. Ron asked me why I didnt seem to mind being there.**

**"The more time I spend away from Liz AKA my so called mother, the better for both of us." I said simply.She came as usual just a little later then she usually does. I didnt question it as we hopped into the pickup and drove away. When we got back to the apartment she went straight to the closet took out my army/navy duffel bag pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and shoved them into my arms telling me to pack because tomorrow I was going to live with my Uncle Luke she would send the rest of my stuff later. As I shoved as much clothing and other things I might need (ciggarettes, books, cards,...etc.) I thought _Uncle who?_**

**The next morning she dropped me off at the bus station and stuck me on a bus. She left, never once looking back, not saying goodbye to her only son. I rode three hours to the place I was supposed to get off at. Some VERY small town in Conneticut called Star's Hollow. To live with an Uncle I've never met. To live amongst strangers. With not a friend in the world.**

So thats when I discovered that Hell truely was a place on Earth. I wouldn't like anyone there. I wouldn't have any friends. I wouldn't care about anyone there. Boy was I in for a life altering Reality Check. Who could've predicted that I, Jess, Mr. Tough Guy, would meet and fall in love with an angel...an angel called Leigh.

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Tears began to fill my eyes. _I am so sorry Jess. I wish I had told you when I had the chance that I fell in love with you too. Now I may never get to._ I turned the page and took a breath as i continued on with the story. **

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A/N: So what did you think? sorry if it isnt as good as the last chapters. i was just hit with an idea and this is what came of it. this is what listening to Numb by Linkin Park over and over and over gets so hope you liked it! pleez R&R! Constructive criticism is welcome just make sure it is CONSTRUCTIVE dont just tell me how much you hate it cuz that does nothing for me! i'll update more soon! **

**Luvs Yas!**

**Trinity**


	4. Ch 3

**DISCLAIMER! I don't own Gilmore Girls! or really anything for that matter. **

**Summary! Okay so I am not Jess, but for the sake of things, lets just pretend that I am. This is an autobiography of Jess Mariano but under the penname Jesse M. Logan.**

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_**Part two**  
__**Chapter Three  
****"Welcome to Star's Hellhole"**_

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I know you're probably dying for information on Leigh so, those of you who are: BE PATIENT, I'll get there. Let's rewind a bit, cause she's not where this starts. This starts on a bus. 

I sat in the very back, reading. I was just getting immersed in David Copperfield when I heard the driver announce that we were coming up on Star's Hollow, Connecticut. I closed the book and shoved it in my bag as I looked out the window. It was worse than I had imagined.

There were picket fences, streetlights with red bows, people in matching jogging suits, little kids skipping around, I even saw this freaky looking balding guy wearing a cardigan. Then I saw the sign: Welcome to Star's Hollow. 'Star's Hollow?'I thought 'more like Star's Hellhole!' I stepped off the bus and a guy in a backwards baseball cap and flannel approached me. I figured that he was my so-called Uncle Luke.

"Jess." he said.

"Luke." I replied. 'Great, I'm livin' with a wannabe lumberjack.' I thought.

He showed me his diner, the apartment where we would be living which was _above_ said diner, and told me that he had frosted flakes.

"Wow, that's grrrrreat." I said. I walked over to my temporary air bed and Luke commented that I didn't have much with me. I told him that Lizzie would be sending the rest later. I dumped my stuff on the small bed as Luke told me that he was closing at ten.

"See ya at ten." I said as I grabbed my book and walked toward the door. Luke mentioned that I needed keys.

"No I don't." I replied as I walked out the door.

I walked around town for awhile and while doing so, I found that it had _twelve_ stores dedicated entirely to peddling porceline unicorns. I also found an bridge going across a lake. I could tell by the look of it that people rarely came there. The fact that it was quiet and peaceful was a plus. I sat in the middle and read for a few hours. I finally decided to head back to the diner because I had finished my book and therefore had nothing better to do.

When I got back to the diner, my uncle introduced me to a friend of his. We'll call her Lauren. She said hi and babbled on for a minute. I just nodded at her and went upstairs. I sat down on my bed and pulled out another book. I sat there reading wondering if I would get along with Lauren's daughter. I doubted it then, I didn't get along with anyone. Boy was I in for a shock.

That night Luke came upstairs and told me that Lauren had invited us to her house for dinner. He told me a little about Lauren's daughter, Leigh. A few minutes later the phone rang, Lizzie decided to wonder if I had gotten there okay about thirteen hours after I had arrived. I refused to talk to her; the woman had dumped me on a relative that I had no recollection of ever meeting because she was tired of me. I think I had a right to be mad.

Anyway...the following evening Luke and I went over to Lauren's house. She came to the door and let us inside. I had no idea that when I stepped into that house that night, my life would change forever.

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**SPECIAL AN!**

**THE LINK TO 6.17 & 18 IS IN MY BIO! US LITS MIGHT GET OUR HAPPILY EVER AFTER! I'M THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE!**

**sorry it took so long actually i'm on ch 4 i just have a bad case of writers block! please review! i'll update asap!**

**ps i'm changing my penname so make a note of it!**


	5. Author's Note PLEASE READ

Hello everyone,

Lily here. It's been a hard few weeks. I've finished high school, that was fun, but I'm not really pleased with other current events. Plagiarism is on the rise. I write under the same name at Fictionpress and most (if not all) of my favorite authors have been plagiarised. This is not something I can just brush off as one of my poems over there has been stolen too.

Most of the stolen stories appear over here from FP. It makes me sick that people can't just write their own stuff. These people put a lot of effort into their stories and to see them abused like that is DISGUSTING. We have ways of finding plagiarisers and they will be punished for what they have done. Unfortunately so will many other fans who have done nothing but be faithful readers. These stories that have been loved and cherished have been removed from fictionpress **(with LOTS of proof that the original is theirs: timestamps, screenshots, copies, recopies--the works, so think again, thieves)**. Many fans will never read their favorite author's stories ever again.

I'm not sure if my stories will remain on here for much longer. I need to protect myself. This is not done lightly. It may not happen for a few weeks, but you'll probably see a lot of things coming down. I'm sorry if it's your favorite, but I need to do what's best for me.

If you have any questions or comments, please don't hesitate to PM me. I'm not changing my mind, so don't hold your breath.

I thank all of you for the time I've had here. I love you all.

XO- Lily Jay


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